There are two types of single women that I often work with: those who are so specific about “their list” that they miss out on lots of amazing men and those who are so afraid to say no to someone that they end up wasting time on go-nowhere dates.
The question that seems to keep coming up for both of these dating coaching clients is How do I know if he’s a good match for me?
Many women have trouble looking at a dating profile and deciding whether or not a dude is worth a date so they just end up swiping right…but the wrong way.
If you’ve ended up on dates with duds or gotten attached to someone who strings you along for months without a commitment, you have trouble with filtering your dates.
The next time you’re on the fence about a match, look out for these 3 signs that he’s not a good match for you and you’ll be on your way to more satisfying dates with relationship potential:
- HIS PICTURES DIDN’T EXCITE YOU – First let me say that I don’t believe in love at first sight. However, I do believe in intrigue at first sight. If his pictures don’t make you visualize yourself in his arms, or raise a question that you’d want to discuss with him on a date, or at least pique your interest, stop right there.
Character and chemistry are important in a relationship but even if he’s not going to be on the cover of GQ any time soon, you still should feel some excitement or curiosity when you look at his photos.
- HE’S ON YOUR DEAL-BREAKER LIST – One of the first exercises I do with dating coaching clients is have them make a list of must-haves and a list of deal-breakers. These are the values you hold most dear. If he has a quality on your deal-breaker list, the conversation is over. That’s why it’s called a deal-breaker. No deal.
Often I’ll see a woman put something like smoking on their deal-breaker list but when she sees a smolderingly handsome guy who is “trying to quit” and she goes out with him anyway. Then 1, 2 or 30 months down the road she discovers that he has no intentions of quitting smoking and the smell of him makes her physically sick. Save yourself the drama and stick to your convictions.
- HE IS SORTA-KINDA STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP – You deserve someone who is fully committed to you so be wary of labels like “it’s complicated” or “separated” on a dating site or social media page.
Men often look for a new relationship as a way out of the first one that isn’t working so well anymore so, unless you want to be the one standing on the sidelines when he finds someone new the next time, let him fully end his first relationship before he can have the privilege of spending time with you.
Being open to the man coming in a different size, shape or color can help you make a match but you should never compromise who you are or what you want just to be with a man. Look for these 3 signs that he’s not a good match for you and your next first date could be your last.
Are you victim of failed first dates? Damona Hoffman’s First Date Starter Kit can help you finally find better dating options and have more interesting first dates that lead to something more!